College?!?

Hey, it's been awhile, huh, blogosphere? That's because I forgot about you, completely and totally. Oops. Sorry?

But actually, a lot has changed since, like, 2009 when I last posted. (Just kidding, it was like 2013. But still. It's almost 2015 now, so you'd expect stuff to have changed, right? I hope so. Anyway...)

First of all, I'm in college! Wow! A lot happened to get me here, like I wrote a bunch of essays and paid a ton of money that I don't technically have (yay debt!), and I cut all my hair off

and also got a job working with small Jewish children, in a place where I was once a small Jewish child myself. (It's illegal for me to post pictures of my campers, even if they were really cute, so instead enjoy this photo of me and one of my co-workers before a staff meeting, jamming out to Taylor Swift.) 

So yeah, that stuff happened. And now I'm here in college, and I have new friends and I have two majors and four classes and it's exam week, so I'm writing this awesome catch-up post instead of studying for my Spanish final, even though I promised myself I'd start studying at 9am and it's 9:26am right now and I have no intention of starting studying for at least fifteen more minutes. (This is gonna be a really in-depth blog post. Also I'm going to change all the angsty high school things about this blog.)

Oh, yeah, that's another development. I sorta kinda changed my name... Yup. So I'm Emery now. If you didn't know me before, no need for you to worry about that. But yeah. I'm Emery. Cool.

Here is what I look like in college: 

 

being awed by the sheer size of this enormous Cheez-it

 

"studying" in the library with my Junior Counselor, Mary Catherine

taking selfies at the front desk, where I work, instead of working

 

"studying" in the Undercroft (basement of the chapel) with my best friend, Joelle

So look at that! You're all caught up now! I mean, not really. But kind of. And I have a desire to blog more, so maybe I will. (And maybe I won't. Oops. Deal with it. I'm not into consistency.)

Right now, I've got an exam to study for (hey, it's only 9:31am! maybe I won't fail!), and then I go home in three days for break! See ya!

xox

Emery

Oh, right, this is a thing...

Lately I've been pretty involved with A LOT of stuff, but it's been ages (read: over two months) since I've posted on here, and I guess I should, like do that, though I'm not sure if anyone reads this. Then again, do I care?

Since I last posted I have:
~won a gold medal at state forensics in playacting
~performed in my final junior show at ESP, Animal Farm, as Minimus the pig
~earned a 34 on my ACT
~went to Prom with my friend Joe as a date, and with a ton of other friends, and had a blast
~applied for a position as a Peer Mentor at LTI 2013 (I interview next week)
~started talking to my "big brother" George again after a long hiatus
~started hating Contemp Lit (Mr. Waack had to get back surgery and our long-term sub absolutely stinks)
~taken AP exams for Lit & Comp and Stats, and felt pretty good about them
~visited colleges and asked about theatre programs specifically
~changed my mind about wanting to be a theatre major
~changed it back
~changed it again
~felt very confused and indecisive
~realized it's okay not to know
~done lots of other stuff that either isn't noteworthy or I've forgotten it

Tomorrow morning I lead my very last GSA meeting ever, which is bittersweet, and probably means I should go to bed eventually. To be totally honest, I'm pretty sick of GSA and all of our not-getting-shit-done-ness, and I have enough stressful stuff in my life without it, so I'm actually kind of glad to be ending my second year in a row as a leader. (However, also being honest, I will probably run for leadership next year unless I'm forbidden from doing it.) That's the sweet bit, though, finally being done with two mornings in a row of waking up early and either trying to listen and learn or trying to lead. The bitter bit is that I am finishing my stint as an East GSA leader, and that the seniors (mostly Emmy) are graduating. I have really, really enjoyed the past two years. As much as I've been annoyed, I've also been inspired. I have learned a lot about leadership and about myself in guiding my GSA for two years in two different settings, and I have made the most amazing connections with students in my school. I am so lucky.
On a different but similar note, I am so incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to attend LTI 2012, and to apply to be a peer mentor for LTI 2013, and to be a GSAFE Student Planner. I've learned more than I care to admit at GSAFE, and I've met people who have literally changed my life (George, (F)Emma, Hannah, Mama J. and Tim, Mel, Lane, Key, Kristen, Andie, Max, Andrew, etc). I want to publicly thank all of those people and all of the people I've missed, because wow.

Finally, official notice that I am indebted a thousand times over to Abra.

It's Not A Love Story

I'm currently listening to this song on repeat ("It's Not A Love Story" from the musical revue Tales From The Bad Year) and wow....
It's funny, I first heard this song when a friend of mine sang it for our choir class to practice before a solo competition. It was absolutely amazing, which was no surprise; Ivy's amazing. My friend Aleia started crying (the song's about a couple moving from high school to college and their relationship's decay; as a senior in a relationship that is planning to try and continue she was obviously touched). However, I also found myself crying, at that time thinking of my maternal grandmother who had died a week or so prior. The lyrics aren't particularly reminiscent of my relationship with my grandma, but it was a bittersweet song about loss and I was an emotional wreck, of course I cried.
Now, though, I'm sitting in bed dry-eyed and listening to my fifth YouTube version of the night. I can't stop thinking about Melanie. I'm seeing her tomorrow at the GSAFE conference for the first time since before we broke up and it's going to be very, very weird. Last time we were physically together was Halloween, and we spent most of the time cuddling and kissing. We broke up over Facebook. I literally have no idea what my feelings for her are. That's not entirely true: I don't love her anymore. I miss what we had, but I don't miss her. I miss the love and safety and desirability I felt when we were together, but we both changed (mostly her to be honest), and now we're much less compatible, and that's okay. It was only two and a half months. Still, I'm nervous for seeing her tomorrow. Probably all the LTI folks are going to be hanging out, and the pairs of exes are all going to be a bit awkward, but we were the longest lasting couple and I think the deepest connected. So it'll be hard.

You say goodbye, but do you really know it's over?
You say goodbye, but do you comprehend it?
You go along, thinking that things like this never change.
Ad then they go and change.

It's not a love story.
It's not a coming of age.
It's not the kind of thing you put into a play.
it's just a small story,
just two friends all grown up.
It happens -
it happens - 
it happens one day.

Districts!!

I heart my 4N6 team (:

Anna and I making faces, because why not?

Seric being the cuties they always are

Running and Vanity

I went for the most amazing run yesterday but I'm sort of feeling it now... My knees ache, and hips and abs a bit. But it felt really good to move and to feel the sun and such. I can't wait for the Big Thaw. (It's snowing again today.)
I'm all dressed up today for tonight's meet. Which means my pants are losing their front creases. Sadness. And my hair's like whoaaa. Puffball. Anyway. FUCK IT I LOOK POWERFUL.
I'm now listening to tomorrow's instructions for the stats lab, though I won't be there.

Thrilled and Bored

This is a strange day. It seems like after today literally everything exciting in the world happens, so I just have to get through school and then THINGS start to happen.
In weights I was able to read the entire AP Lit assignment that I forgot about last night, so that's good, and we finished ACT prep in Arts&Ideas. I'm actually kind of nervous. After all, this test determines whether I get into college or not.
Tonight I have an acting lesson with Julia at 5, and I'm considering asking her a bit about acting in college and professionally, just to see what she thinks. We're also going to coach my prose piece for the West meet this weekend.
Tomorrow night we have WHSFA districts for forensics, which means I get to leave physics early and Anna and I do our Playacting piece, hopefully well enough to advance to state.
Saturday is the West High meet, which Anna can't come to because of strings fest, so instead of Playacting I'm entered in my solo event, Oral Interp (OIL). This is the meet I won last year, so my fingers are crossed.
Sunday I hope to go riding, and then Monday I'm going to Bavaria, IL for a choral clinic with Concert Choir. Yay!

Tuesday In Review

Seeing as I liveblogged a bit this morning (sorry about that), I guess I won't go ALL THE WAY BACK in detail, but here's a snapshot of my day:
~wake up, eat breakfast, walk to school (it was snowing today and really pretty despite the chill)
~weight training (blogged about it already)
~arts and ideas (test today; I think I did quite well)
~contemp lit (free reading days are the best days<3)
~stats (blogged about it)
~lunch (ate with Anna [my bff] and chatted and then the boys came over)
~concert choir (CHOIR TEACHER RUINED MY GREAT DAY WITH HER FUCKING LECTURE ABOUT DISSING SHOW CHOIR FROM HERE ON THE DAY WAS CRAPPY)
~ap lit (lost a poetry contest to a close friend who basically tried to forfeit and then my entire class voted for her to win over me even though I actually tried; was kind of sad about that)
~physics (we started a lab which I actually paid attention to because the wifi stopped working in the school)
~theatre (blocked Fight B, Paul treated me like an SM [which annoyed me a little bc I SHOULD JUST BE THE FUCKING SM], ran beats 1-4)
~Teens Like Us (lgbtq+ support group) (okay tonight. the activity we did was about body image, and it was a hard thing for me to talk about, particularly in the headspace I'm in today, but I think overall it was good)
~walk home with Anna (shiver a lot.)
~do stuff, which tonight meant read through the first few beats of our show and try to memorize, and then RP a lot, as well as listen to my ex's ex complain, try to patch up a dispute between two friends, talk a friend through a major medical crisis, and think about all the homework I should be doing but am not

I'm tired as fuck but still RPing so I won't go to bed for another ten or fifteen minutes. I also kind of want to eat something, but then again it's fricken 11:20pm, I should just go to sleep.

So that was my day. Surprisingly good at first, ruined by choir, pretty much crap since then. Here's to hoping tomorrow won't suck.
Cheers.

Statistics Class

This is an excellent time for blogging because my maths teacher doesn't care if we're using electronic devices and I can easily listen with half an ear to her lectures and still do fine in the class. So hi. Welcome to your first day of me liveblogging my life. (No, iPod, not "love logging. Stupid autocorrect."
So here I am just eating a slightly bruised apple and thinking about my future while occasionally throwing out answers about t hypothesis testing.
I decided during third hour today that I'd really like to move to England. Partly because I could meet my friends (Alice and Abbi mostly, but also Gainish and Jake and all sorts), but partly because of the culture and history. And the accents. But really, it would be amazing to live overseas. Australia'd be amazing too.
I guess I'm just a little bored with my dreary snaining (combination snow/rain) Midwest. Fricken March.

Books

Remind me later to review "Water for Elephants" and "The Friendship Test" because I just finished the former an just started the latter and I love them both.

AVPM/S/SY and Working Out

First hour every day I have Weight Training. Two days a week I lift and two days a week I ride the stationary bicycle. It's been weirdly calming to have gym class first hour, despite hating how much I sweat. I don't have any friends in my class, so I'm not tempted to socialize instead of participating or anything, and it's such an individually defined class. I've never liked gym before; it's a weird feeling.
But I digress. This morning I'm listening to the A Very Potter Musical soundtrack in preparation for AVPSY coming out on YouTube Friday and thinking about just how much Team StarKid has affected me. I'm not going to get all fangirly here, but they're honestly such a big part of my life, and that's amazing.

Also my arms hurt. I increased weights or reps on all 8 of my exercises today, and then I got bored after I finished and went around to random machines and lifted until I couldn't anymore on the shoulder press and two different styles of leg press and the ab machine.